Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The Hobbit 2: we`ve still got a long way to walk
Is going to bed! Hopefully the Cleaning Fairies will come and clean my house tonight! Wishful Dreaming i guess!
I can`t be trusted with your alphabet magnets.
I was told today to look at my life from a different perspective. I`m lying on the floor now and the shit still looks f*cked up.
There is a piece of aluminum foil blowing across the road and all I can think is that one of you is without your protective headgear today.
Laughter is not the best medicine. Laughter with large amounts of alcohol & wild crazy monkey sex - now that`s the best medicine.
My New Years resolution is to be more assertive if that`s okay with you guys?
My walk of shame is putting back the 9 boxes of assorted cereals that my wife found in the grocery cart.
First Ebola case in USA , and the Walking Dead starts next week... brb gonna go buy a crossbow.
Miley Cyrus is not unique. I have been having full body spasms and licking random objects for decades.
Don`t judge a man by how low his pants hang below his a$$...just kidding, that`s a great reason to judge someone.
The corner of my bathtub is also referred to as "The Shampoo Bottle Graveyard"
Be Poor... Its Cheaper :)
Sometimes, when my husband has a day off, I like to bring the TV remote with me to work.
There are some people in this world who make you totally understand Hannibal Lecter.