Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Based on the sound of her walking.. My upstairs neighbor seems like the kind of woman that starts sentences with; "Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum.".. O_o
I bet the guy made of money in the Gieco commercial doesn`t ever ride his motorcycle on Martin Luther King Blvd in any town.
If sex is said to be the best exercise, than why are there no fitness clubs for that. Now there`s idea. . .
The good thing about Facebook is if someone gets on your nerves enough, you can make them cease to exist in your world and you don`t even have to hide a body.
Sleeping alone is a complete waste of my sexual talent.....
Why does life keep teaching me lessons I have no desire to learn?
Saw a woman crying as she was buying tampons last night. ..Must be going through a tough period in her life.
Thanks to Facebook, rock bottom now has a waiting list.
Felt like being Bad today, like an Outlaw Bad, felt like doing something illegal, so I ran through the house ripping off all the Mattress Tags..... Come and get me Coppers, but you won`t take me alive.......................
I don`t drink to forget my problems. I drink because I survived them!
Apparently, "I Know" is not a good answer when your friend tells you how good his girlfriend is in bed.
hilarious
I mostly use Facebook to remember why I stopped hanging out with certain people.
Ways to Win my Heart: Buy me Beer Bring me Beer Be Beer.
Why do people freak out about dolphins getting caugh in tuna nets? What about the tuna?