Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I just had a conversation with my-self...but it just turned into an argument. I think it`s that time of the month...
Boss: Are you high? Me: You and I both know that I don`t make enough money to have a drug habit.
The problem with some people is that they`re breathing.
Light travels faster than sound. That`s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Let me be honest, I dont even walk a mile in my own shoes.
A fun thing to yell at a magic show is "BURN HIM, HE`S A WITCH"
I bet people who like their own statuses wink at themselves in the mirror too.
What idiot called it a driver`s test and not a Game of Cones?
When I have a yard sale I play the theme song to Sanford & Son with a boombox on my porch.
Thanks to Netflix I can tell my doctor I`ve done a lot of "marathons"
So many fun things to say … too many relatives on Facebook to post!
To whoever said “fight fire with fire”: do you actually test your own advice before giving it?
Sometimes when you first meet someone you just know you want to spend the rest of your life ... Avoiding them
I`m pretty sober, but I`m prettier drunk.
So I danced like no one was watching. My court date is pending.