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Apparently when you donate blood, it has to be "YOUR" blood.
Today I think I`ll go to a public restroom and wait until someone leaves, then click your stopwatch and write something down in a notebook.
9 out of 10 husbands agree that their wives are always right. The 10th one hasn`t been seen since the study was conducted.
Santa must be the bravest man around. Who else would let a bunch of deer pull them around in a sleigh during hunting season?
I hate it when the movie trailer is better than the movie itself.
The overspray from my windshield washer fluid just totaled a smart car.
Matt Damon is set to play an all-action version of Jesus in his new Easter based Biblical film, "Bourne Again Christian".
You need a high five, in the face, with a chair.
I wish I had the confidence of a male flight attendant
Anyone else think there should be a sarcasm font?
If I can`t convince you, I will sure as hell confuse you.
I can’t prove this, but I swear I used to be smarter, funnier, and less tired
I enjoy a bit of unnecessary swearing as much as the next f*cker.
So Stevie Wonder is going to become father to triplets next year. I guess he didn`t see that coming...
I put the PRO in inappropriate!