Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Why do people say ”I saw it with my own eyes.” Do they sometimes use other peoples eyes?
Pandas are proof that if you have a cute enough outfit no one will call you fat.
It`s ok if you don`t like my personality,,, I`ve got others.
I don`t know where the saying "working like a dog" got started but I`m looking at my dogs daily routine feeling pretty jealous myself.
I just read last year 4,153,237 people got married. I don’t want to start any trouble, but shouldn’t that be an even number? ...hmm
I don’t understand ads on porn sites. like who is ever in the middle of jerking off then goes like “woah! that’s the new detergent?”
No toilet paper.. goodbye socks
What idiot called it a contraction and not a birthquake?
There are two types of people in this world: those who know how to handle stress, and those who need bail money.
You ever think that maybe the reason geese are always honking is because they`re flying too close together?
Why are there no owls here? I Was lead to believe there would by owls here. #hooters
I really would love to see two mimes arguing
In my defense Your Honor, I thought she had been stung by a jellyfish.
Oops, I must have put my personalities on "shuffle"
My Son: The marriage vows say "tell death do us part", so we are not married in heaven ? Me: That`s right son, cause if we were still married, we`d be in hell.