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You`re the reason I wake up every morning... Just kidding, I have to goto work.
I don’t want to be a millionaire, I just want enough money to be able to stare off into the distance while pumping gas.
If you watched a person cut a piece of wood, would that be sawed or seen?
He turned to her, ran his hand up her thigh, across her belly and down her legs. When he turned back to watch TV, she asked "Why stop?" "I found the remote!" he replied.
Dear Santa, I would like a thin body and a fat bank account. Don’t mix it up this year!
Perverts can contribute to society. Look at the disturbed individual who discovered cow`s milk.
It`s been close to a million years since I exaggerated about anything.
Maybe Mondays are not that bad. Maybe its your job that sucks balls.
I`m leaving my body to science fiction
I`m working harder than an ugly stripper!!
I`ve been on a diet for 2 weeks and all I`ve lost is 14 days.
Asian gangs, also known as study groups...
I’m moving to Africa. Apparently there I can eat for 12 cents a day.
Losing weight is not working for me, so I`m concentrating on getting taller.
roses are red.... my name is dave...this poem makes no sense.... microwave...