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OH NO !,,,,,,,,, I just realized I can`t stop calling the addiction hotline....
I will never be to old to laugh when somone farts in a public bathroom peeing..
“Are you working right now? Where are you working?” Facebook is worse than my parents.
New kitchen game: `Fridge and Cupboard Tetris`- Putting the possibility of being pummeled by a food avalanche on a whole new level of adventure.
I put a dollar in one of those change machines once. Nothing changed.
The proper way to use a stress ball is to throw it at the last person to piss you off.
Nothing changes a Facebook relationship status faster than a weekend full of tagged photos!
To this day, the boy that used to bully me at school still takes my lunch money. On the plus side, he makes a great Subway sandwich.
Shout out to the guy behind me flashing red & blue lights.
F*ck spiders. F*ck them and the way they move their legs, f*ck their ability to multiply by the million and f*ck their eight, beady little black eyes that offer unblinking, soulless glimpses of the blackest depths of hell itself.
"It gotten SOOO cold in D.C., politicians have their hands in their OWN pockets!"
If running late counted as exercise I would be the healthiest motherf*cker you ever saw
No means no! Unless she`s dyslexic; then it`s on!
Hi I’m an evil ghost with the ability to defy time & space, but I think the best example of my powers will be to slightly close this door.
A recent study has found that woman who carry little extra weight live longer then the man who mention it