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A good office manager never let`s you run out of ink, paper or vodka
To all the lovely ladies here I`m not wearing green....to all the guys here, I know Ju-Jitsu. Just saying
I took a pic of my self a few days ago. Now I`m playing with it. Yeah...I`m playing with my selfie.
Your shadow: What happens when light travels 93 million miles unobstructed, only to be deprived of reaching the ground in the final few feet by you.
I need a partner in wine.
Is it bad when Iยดm talking to myself and Iยดm not even listening?
Whenever you feel like a genius, remember there was a time in your life when you were learning to not poop your pants.
I`m starting to think I overuse exclamation points. It ends today. Right now. I`ll never ever use one again. I`m so excited about it. Yes.
Serving sarcasm with a smile since 1984.
I find myself highly addicted to books as of late. Once I start coloring the first few pages I can`t stop....
I got carded at the liquor store. While getting my ID out my Blockbuster card fell out. He laughed and said "Never mind."
I had a very confident breakdown today. ...Wasn`t nervous at all. ;)
My biggest fear is that there is no PMS and this is my personality.
Sleep is like a time machine to breakfast.
Life is not like a box of chocolates. It`s more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today might burn your a$$ tomorrow.