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How ignorant do I have to be before I start experiencing bliss?
Summer is real cool until every f*ckin type of insect comes out of the 8th circle of hell.
Sometimes to much to drink is never enough
With the rise of self-driving vehicles, eventually there will be a country song about how your truck left you too.
AOL has been hacked. Users have also been asked to check their Atari settings for possible compromise.
I bet now a lot of doctors are going to be reluctant to respond to “Is there a doctor on the plane?”
Good news I passed my drug test today. But now my drug dealer has some explaining to do.
justin bieber
Claustrophobia is the fear of closed spaces. For example: I am going to the liquor store and I`m scared that it`s closed.
Hit the popcorn button on my microwave but none has appeared yet.
You know it`s a classy establishment when they quietly ask you to leave.
“Make it rain” is the only appropriate response when asked if you want freshly grated parmesan.
Why does the person who snores always fall asleep first?
Me: I`m gonna lose weight. Me: I`m gonna exercise every day. Me: I`m gonna go on a diet and stick to it. Me: Is that cake?
Good Morning! A fresh cup of hot coffee and my FB page is up, just look at that, I already achieved all my goals for the day.