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How ignorant do I have to be before I start experiencing bliss?
Summer is real cool until every f*ckin type of insect comes out of the 8th circle of hell.
Sometimes to much to drink is never enough
With the rise of self-driving vehicles, eventually there will be a country song about how your truck left you too.
AOL has been hacked. Users have also been asked to check their Atari settings for possible compromise.
I bet now a lot of doctors are going to be reluctant to respond to β€œIs there a doctor on the plane?”
Good news I passed my drug test today. But now my drug dealer has some explaining to do.
justin bieber
Claustrophobia is the fear of closed spaces. For example: I am going to the liquor store and I`m scared that it`s closed.
Hit the popcorn button on my microwave but none has appeared yet.
You know it`s a classy establishment when they quietly ask you to leave.
β€œMake it rain” is the only appropriate response when asked if you want freshly grated parmesan.
Why does the person who snores always fall asleep first?
Me: I`m gonna lose weight. Me: I`m gonna exercise every day. Me: I`m gonna go on a diet and stick to it. Me: Is that cake?
Good Morning! A fresh cup of hot coffee and my FB page is up, just look at that, I already achieved all my goals for the day.