Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The speed at which I can prepare food during a commercial break is amazing.
According to a recent study 52% of women have used vibrators....I`m guessing the other 48% have new ones?
My wife just said we should have another baby. I hope she didn`t mean together.
Since smart watches can now read your pulse, there should be a feature that erases your browser history if your heart stops beating...
Just took an inventory of my body and it appears to be overstocked in all the wrong places.
My theory on housework is, if the item doesn´t multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be.
I think I`m approaching my "best if used by" date
So far, I am 100% at believing what happened next on Facebook links.
In reference to why men can sleep with lots a women and it’s fine, but women can’t sleep with lots of men or else they’re whores. “If a key opens a lot of locks, it’s a master key. But if a lock is opened by a lot of different keys, it’s just a sh!tty lock.”
The downside of dating intelligent women is having to Google what they call you when it ends badly
The thinner the eyebrow, the crazier the woman.
Proposing to a woman isn`t like choosing a life-long business partner. It`s more like hiring your own boss.
I think my new Stress Management plan is going to be alcoholism.
If someone doesn`t respond to your text within 5 minutes, they obviously don`t love you anymore. Probably never did, react accordingly.
True love is when you burn your tongue when you take a bite from a pizza and you still keep eating it.