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You cant ask "What do you mean by that?" without sounding pissed off
Saw a girl with three lip piercings, took everything in my power not to attach a shower curtain
Sure I have my doubts, but Bigfoot doesn’t have any pictures of me either.
Falling in love is like watching a sexy person eat hot, crispy bacon and wanting to eat some, too. Marriage is like listening to them chew.
I’m at the doctor’s office & they don’t know why I have this rash on my balls. Guess I’ll wait for the Dr, these other patients are clueless.
Just in: Chinese people confirm they were just messing with us with chopsticks. "You guys look like dumb idiots lol" says one Chinese guy
often rambles on and on about this and that seeming to be heading towards a point but really just blabbing about nothing.
Why is it that the most interesting things in life usually aren`t in our best interest?
There are two ways to go about arguing with a woman and neither one works.
To stupidity ... And beyond!!
The zoo basically has two modes. 1. Lazy sleepy animals. 2. Hard core porn
You don`t have to dress like you`re a handbag, unless you are Lady Gaga.
I hope manners is the next cool trend.
Everyday I fall in love with you more and more. Except yesturday, yesturday you were pretty f*cking annoying.
When someone rings the doorbell, why do dogs always assume it´s for them?