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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Email: 8 character min, including 1 upper, 1 lower, 1 number, 1 special character. ATM card: 4 numbers
I want a doorbell that makes the sound of someone knocking on the door.
I should be able to take a sick day if I am sick of the people I work with.
I don`t think I get enough credit for the fact that I do all of this unmedicated.
The other day my son asked me who picks up the seeing eye dog`s poop.
I didn’t scream out someone else’s name during sex. I was thinking of baby names in case you get pregnant…
As a matter of fact, the whole world does revolve around me.
Example of the difference between `You`re`and `Your`: 1. "You`re nuts" = "You are nuts" 2. "Your nuts" = "What about my nuts?"
It`s always quiet on here at the weekends, it`s like you people have lives or something...
All who post weather maps on FB. You know we have the internet too, right??
I don`t mean to brag, but my posts are enjoyed by well over 20 people worldwide...
There are people on Facebook who don`t realize the difference between "What`s on your mind" or "I should talk to a therapist about this"
My goal today is to turn actions into thoughts.
Kinda hypocritical of me to complain about people who send mixed signals seeing as the mat in front of my door says "welcome"...
When I`m bored, I send a text to a random number saying, " I hid the body, now what?"