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New kitchen game: `Fridge and Cupboard Tetris`- Putting the possibility of being pummeled by a food avalanche on a whole new level of adventure.
It doesn’t matter what it is. It is automatically cool if it glows in the dark.
The best curve on a girl is her smile ;) ... Lol just kidding!
I went to buy condoms and the cashier just said "yeah right" and put em back on the shelf
What if the stickers are the only thing Made In China?
Bored, so I’m going to find a kid that looks like me and tell him I’m him from the future.
Half the time spent on Facebook is likely spent by creeping people and /or staring at the screen waiting for something interesting to happen.
If you`re ever lost in the woods and have a compass, the compass can help you be lost more north.
Life is fun! You should get one.
I feel pretty confident that if anyone ever steals my identity, they will inevitably improve my credit score…
Just once I want someone to make a movie that’s sideways on the screen so I can watch it laying down without getting a kink in my neck.
You know it’s a really good bar when there’s a couple outside breaking up.
Rumors are like fires. No one admits to starting them and before you know it, they`re out of control.
Hey Lady!, I just deposited $43 dollars in THIS bank.. DON`T FROWN AT ME WHEN I TAKE 3 SUCKERS!
"I need to talk to you” is the one sentence that has the power to make you remember every bad thing you’ve ever done in your life.