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Starbucks announced guns are no longer allowed in their stores. Seems crazy banks didn`t think of this.
The Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day.
*puts selfie on top of christmas tree because I am the star*
"Does this dress make me look fat?"-- Now, what I SHOULD have said was, "No, dear! You are little black dress approved!" but what came out was, "When did your bum move to the front?"
May your life someday be as awesome as you pretend it is on Facebook.
Exercise by running up the street knocking on all the doors. - Jehovah`s Fitness.
A panda never pays his bills, because he eats shoots and leaves!!!
If your dog is fat it means that you don`t get enough exercise.
Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown man child who can`t take care of himself.
To the guy who invented Zero: Thanks for nothing!
Missing my childhood super-powers, when I could sleep on the couch and wake up in bed.
Good friends do not let you do stupid things….. alone :)
Just read someones status, "Today is the frist day of your life," Thats just stupid, mine was over 45 years ago.. If it was the frist day of your life you wouldn`t be able to read it... Dummy
change your birthday on facebook to today, see how many people say happy birthday for APRIL FOOLS!!!! lol
Please be patient...I`m fcuking things up as fast as I can.