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Apparently, you can only say "look at you! You got so big!" to children,,, old girlfriends tend to get offended.
The amount of people who confuse "to" and "too" is amazing two me.
If you`re one in a million, there are more than 7,000 of you.
I think I like mornings best when they start in the afternoon.
Whoever snuck the s in “fast food” is a clever person.
I can`t fall asleep because I am too excited for Christmas
Ever talk to someone so stupid you can hear them misspelling words?
Girl:How do u feel? Boy:With your hands
None of my girlfriends even know they`re dating me.
Can you imagine being cryogenically frozen and waking up 100 years later? Your hairstyle would be so outdated, how embarrassing.
was going to argue with you...but then I remembered I really didn`t care
When someone says "everything happens for a reason" I`d like to smack them and say "yeah, I guess you`re right"
Congratulation! You`ve won a lifetime supply of air! Not valid under water, in space, when dead, or while choking.
The fact “gorilla” does not rhyme with “tortilla” infuriates me.
most teens are switching to twitter instead of facebook. noone wants to get on facebook and catch dad pocking mom... if you kno what I mean;)