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If I go sleep at 6 in the morning, does it mean I go to sleep early or late?
If you put root beer in a square cup, do you get beer?……………………. (you smart people grinned didn’t you.)
Apparently "Fat Tuesday" doesn´t constitue telling fatties they´re fatties.
I saw a fat lady with a "M.O.B." tattoo on her arm. I asked "money over B*tches?" She said "No, McDonalds over Burger King.
If “too drunk to stand” is a yoga pose, then I’m nailing that one.
why would you go outside? that`s where bugs live
Settle down joggers at red lights, settle down.
I can make your gf scream louder than you can. - Spider
Bulimia: Twice the taste. Zero Calories.
Decided to get in touch with my feminine side today... I made myself a sandwich!
"What`s wrong?" "Oh it`s personal" Then, why`d you post it to Facebook.
Warning: forgetting what pocket your keys are in may result in the Macarena.
I repaired my blow up doll with superglue.....that was an awkward trip to the emergency room (<>..<>)
A secret is what you tell everyone not to tell anyone else.
Vodka mixes well with everything, except decisions.