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Make somebody happy today... mind your own business!!!
I have one question about Insanity, "Are we there yet"?
Sometimes when I wave my hands in the air, I actually do care.
Can`t reach it. Don`t need it.
I`ve found if you tuck one part of a pants leg into your sock, people expect less of you.
Sure, I was walking home from the bar drunk, but I wasn`t even stumbling. My guess is, the cops just had it in for naked people.
My number one rule to live by is: Don’t die.
You know that 200-foot high expansion bridge you drove over today? Just remember that it was built by the lowest bidder.
Don`t look at me in that tone of voice...
I`m not antisocial. I`m pro leave-me-the-hell-alone.
Juvenile humor My friend David lost his ID. We just call him Dav now. Here`s your sign..................
I finally found a simple and easy way to deal with my weight problem. I threw my scale out.
The best thing about telepathy is.. I know, right!
The cashier at this self checkout is horrible.
Which nipple does the red jumper cable go on?