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lol <- looks like a stick man drowning. lol
You’re not really living if you don’t have an arch-nemesis.
To be honest, I panic a bit right before I have to pronounce Worcestershire sauce.
India launched a rocket to Mars yesterday… That’s a heck of a place to put a call center.
Netflix doesn’t care if u showered or not
Bitch I’m not insulting you, I’m describing you.
You don’t have to be naked to have a good time, but it helps.
llllllloooollllll...........................i saw a donkey on a bike
If I learned anything from my children, it`s that it is always OK to do something stupid, as long as someone DARED you to do it.
I`m leaving my body to science fiction
The trick to successfully backing out of a parking space is to not care what happens to you or anyone else.
The reason grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup are such a great combination is because they are the same basic ingredients as pizza.
What is it about a car that makes people think we can`t see them pick their nose?
You know how sometimes as you fall asleep your whole body jolts you awake? That`s a ghost finishing sex with you.
I wish karma would send me email notifications.