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To understand paranoid people better, follow them around
Bring multiple sets of clothes to work, change every hour, and act like nothing’s different.
The only reason I liked your post was because I was trying to clean a smudge off my screen.
take me drunk i`m home
Meditation never worked for me, so I tried something even better..."Beditation"! You lay down close your eyes and you wake up an hour and a half later!
That`s a horrible idea ... What time?
7,000 people were treated in emergency rooms for injuries sustained from fireworks. Don’t be a statistic, let your friend light the fuse
Facebook looks so boring on the outside, but once you start using it, its like NARNIA BRO!
May the bridges I burn light the way.
Honking your horn won´t make them go any faster, but at least they´ll know that you´re an asshole.
Hope you don`t mind if I make transformer sound effects when we switch positions.
Today is National animals day, please take a moment to remember your ex :p:p:p.
You`ll all be sorry when I figure out how to breathe fire.
I`d like to share my innermost thoughts and feelings with all of you, but I`m afraid they`ll be used against me in a court of law someday.
I don`t want it to seem like I`m trying to get rid of you, but GO AWAY!!