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My entire life is a “you had to be there” moment.
There is a fine line between “hobby” and “mental illness.”
Do people smoke e-cigarettes after sexting?
Why must the phrase, "It is none of my business" always be followed by, "but"?
Golf, except there`s no balls or clubs or anything, and you just drive around in a cart and drink.
Thank goodness I`m loud and obnoxious all the time, so my family can`t blame it on the alcohol.
Nothing says poor life choices like the guy with the half smoked cigarette behind his ear
What do you call a black woman with braces?... A Black and Decker P@cker Wrecker!
Hi, we`re a group of teens who solve mysteries! We wanna be taken seriously so we wrote a theme song about how we can`t ever find our dog.
I`ve never said "in all seriousness" and actually meant it.
The worst thing about finding out Santa isn`t real is that you realise it was your parents who were to blame for all the terrible presents
I have never met a woman without wondering what her box of cookie recipes looks like.
I just read that ciggarettes cause rectal cancer, I should me fine, I was going to put them in my mouth anyway..
Sent an email to my Mom. Now I`m at her place showing her how to open it.
Duct tape can`t fix stupid, but it can muffle the sound.