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I`m still mad that video killed the radio star.
When I die and I`m standing at the gates, I hope they give me the carpenter`s cup challenge from Indiana Jones. I`m totally ready for that one.
"There`s nothing sexier than a chick that knows how to work on cars" -Dudes, trying to get us to do that job too.
How to live a happy life: 1)Do whatever you want 2)Don`t worry 3)Eat whatever you want 4)Don`t take advice from strangers on the internet
I wonder how long I`d be on hold if my call wasn`t important to them.
"Ramen". - Scooby Doo, finishing a prayer
We all have faults. It`s just that mine are better than yours.
Time flies when you`re throwing watches.
Always end a conversation with "gotta run" so people think you`re into fitness
Sorry about last night texts. My phone was drunk.
People are like snowflakes. If you piss on them they go away.
hilarious
I`d say that most of my mistakes can be traced back to when I decided to get out of bed. ... just sayin! ;)
When I think of a good status in the shower, I run out dripping & naked and post it before the internet ends and it’s too late.
I went for a run tonight. Sure, it was a beer run but, I was still sweating by the end.