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What I lack in height, I make up for in kitchen counter climbing ability.
Pepsi and Coke can`t even be in the same restaurant together and society wants us all to get along. Pffftt.
Why do they play this music on the elevators if we`re not suppose to slow dance.
There is no such thing as a stupid question, but there are such things as stupid people who ask questions.
I love long walks on the beach under the moonlight, poetry, candlelight dinners, and having my a$$ spanked with a fuzzy slipper.
I propose a toast to the booze for making life seem tolerable.
United Airlines.... Board as Doctor, leave as patient.
If you guys could read my mind! It would be all like; " "
My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That’s almost $21.00 in dog money.
Hello...
Life is short, break the rules, forgive quickly, kiss slowly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably and never regret anything that made you smile ?
What makes fancy green beans fancy?
You’re one of those women that my mom warned me about…Here’s my number.
I find that some of the best jokes are the ones that drag you in slowly and then leave you waiting in antici...
With my luck, I`ll die and get reincarnated as myself.