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So they say that having to much sex can cause memory loss, which is just a little something I seem to remember reading in a Rolling Stone magazine once on page 64 paragraphs 3 through 5 while sitting on a park bench October 14th 2002 at 3:46 p.m
Note to Denver Broncos: Marijuana is NOT a performance enhancing drug!
I put my phone on airplane mode, and it dragged me out of my seat.
My doctor asked me if I drink to excess. I told him I would drink to anything.
I wish I could google the things I’ve misplaced.
My ex-girlfriend said she broke up with me because I was childish and immature. I think it`s because she`s a big dumb stinkyhead that`s jealous of my awesome Transformers collection.
Doing word problems as a kid has helped me in adulthood. "Dan doesn`t have enough money for his bills, how long before he is homeless?"
You will never be happier than a girl who just discovered her dress has pockets.
never judges a book by its cover. I use the paragraph on the back, it tells you what the story is about.
Show him you care by setting his house on fire so he will have to move in with you and never be lonely again.
Hockey is much better if you imagine the teams are fighting over the world’s last Oreo.
The kids left w/my parents for a week. I plan to run around the house for an hour yelling "woo hoo", but after that my schedule is wide open
You`re single? BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.. Yea me too.
Between the coffee and the cocaine, it looks like the mission of Colombia is to wake up the world.
Lisa has 750 friends on Facebook. A week later she adds 150 more to her friends list. What does she have? Answer-Big Boobs