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If you are hotter than me, wouldn’t that make me cooler than you.
"That`s crazy" is the perfect response when you haven`t been listening.
I like to respond to statuses with .. WOW, Someone needs a Happy Meal.
Weather forecast for tonight: dark
Commercials led me to believe that changing shampoos would have a much bigger effect on my life.
I get a little nervous eating cucumber in a single woman`s home.
Life was much easier when apples and blackberries were fruits&& not phones
Why do people ask "What the hell were you thinking?" Obviously I was thinking I was going to get away with it and not get caught.
Which emoticon indicates the desire to cover someone with fire ants?
Momma didn`t raise no fool. I did this all on my own.
After the expiration date on poison, is it more potent or less potent?
Do you have neighbors?.. Do you have extension cords?..... Are you paying too much for electricity?
The difference between pizza and your opinion is that I asked for pizza…
Tried to donate blood today but they had too many questions about where I got it.
Subway only exists because we`re all too damn lazy to throw a sandwich together. "Could you lay meat on that bread for me? Here`s $8."