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Couldn`t stop thinking about that drought on the west coast while I was watering my driveway today.
A Girl Scout made headlines when she sold cookies outside a Colorado pot shop. There’s no word on how she plans to spend her first million.
I hate that I have to put on clothes to participate in society.
Never say "piece of cake!" to me. Unless there is, indeed, a piece of cake involved.
The only time I proof read is to see how much alcohol comes in a bottle.
You can run from your problems. Unless your problem is a cheetah.
The sound of children laughing makes me happy. Unless I`m home alone and my power goes out.
Gift cards are still the best way to say "I`m too lazy to think of a good gift and I think you`ll buy drugs if I give you cash."
People who don`t understand sarcasm are awesome.
Accidentally missed the freeway exit for home, now I`m heading north to start a new life.
Life Insurance: Let me get this right. I pay you until I die, then someone ELSE gets the money?
"I smell carrots. Do you smell carrots? `cause I smell carrots..." ~ Snowmen.
Life really is all down-hill once you get to big too ride in the shopping cart anymore isnt it??
Life is short, Smile while you still have teeth.
Do a little dance... Drink a lot of rum... Fall down tonight...