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When people say they did something "like a boss" I just picture them doing it fatter and with less hair
It`s not difficult to tell crocodiles and alligators apart. One will see you in a while whereas the other will see you later.
I remember 2011 like it was yesterday. ;)
You think you`re pretty smart until you have to figure out how to turn on someone elses shower.
You say I’m dirty minded, but how did you understand what I meant?
I guess I`m somewhat of a big deal, I tell people about my accomplishments and they say "big Deal
I don`t use my cell phone in the car... I have to keep my hands free for making gestures.
I found the key to happiness ... Stay away from a$$holes.
Not trying to be racist or ignorant but... seriously, all crocodiles and alligators look alike.
How can I trust you when you keep running away every time I untie you?
After spending the last week stealing cars and killing people I just found out GTA had missions.
My wife told me I have to quit playing poker all the time but I think she`s bluffing...
What doesn`t kill you, will hopefully try again
And I was like “No, Coke is NOT ok. I wanted a Pepsi.” And she was all “Sir, 911 should only be dialed for real emergencies.”
My rabbit died yesterday… Now he’s just some bunny that I used to know…