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"Fidget Spinners are so dumb pointless." -The generation that purchased over 5 million Pet Rocks.
Guy on plane : So, where are you going to? Me : I`m guessing it`s the same place you`re going.
The good thing about being tall is, you can`t get lost in a crowd. The bad thing is, you can`t get lost in a crowd.
Humans pretend to be smart, but we still look at the ceiling when we hear a noise upstairs like we just developed x-ray vision.
Right now I`m having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I`ve forgotten this before.
It`s finally here! .. That time of year when my seasonal depression turns into just regular depression.
Nothing says God is forgiving like hell.
Non alcoholic beer is like porn movie on a radio
I enjoy romantic scrolls up and down your timeline.
Not everything on CNN is fake news. Some of it is commercials.
Happy Halloween… may all of your skeletons stay in the closet where they belong!
I hate when you tell someone you’re bored, and they suggest getting together. Then you have to explain that you’re not quite that bored.
I have my hesitations about Paradise City if the first thing you brag about is the color of the grass
I can eat a piece of pie without a plate or a fork what else should I write on this dating site profile?
Why buy it for $7 when you can make it yourself with $92 worth of craft supplies.