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I always wondered what the job application is like at Hooters.. do they just give you a bra and say, "here fill this out"..?
Cop: This is a ticket for drunk and disorderly behavior. Me: Can I have another? I`d like to bring a guest.
If I had a mood ring on today, it`d be flashing like a disco ball!
Roses are red, violets are blue. god made me pretty,what happened to you?
Women seem to want security. At least that`s what they yell whenever I approach them.
I grew up living paycheck to paycheck. But through hard work and perseverance, I now live direct deposit to direct deposit.
Never trust a man in a wheelchair with dirty shoes...
I just bought an answering machine! What should I ask it?
More funny statuses will be posted here soon
Of course you should follow me. I’m funny. Ask anyone. Well, except my mother-in-law. Don`t ask her.
They should just block cell phone service in movie theaters. Problem solved.
I wish they all could be Jerry Springer girls.
For the life of me, I can’t understand why small and medium pizzas exist.
If you ring my door bell you better be the pizza guy or a sexy naked lady ... with a pizza.
To whoever said “fight fire with fire”: do you actually test your own advice before giving it?