Daily Silly Status

Every time I use a public bathroom, I always wonder why so many people have Sharpies on them at all times.

Early to bed, early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and a crappy party host.

Rolling out of bed is easy. Getting up off of the floor is another story.

Just bought myself a mistletoe belt buckle. Wish me luck.

I want someone to look at me the way I look at chocolate cake.

Just give me coffee and no one gets hurt.

So I was looking at my boyfriends facebook page and saw a ton of girls saying they love him. He`s obviously cheating on me. We are so over Zac Efron.

I know money talks but I wish mine had a better vocabulary instead of just ‘Spend me’.

I like when google answers my stupid questions because it means I`m not the only one asking google stupid questions.

A recent study found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year. Another study found that Americans drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year. That means that, on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon!

Here`s an idea...Duck Dynasty Chia Pets

I didn’t sell my soul to the devil….we worked out a rent-to-own deal.

When the coffee stops working it is probably the right time to start drinking.

I’m a fan of saying YOU’RE WELCOME really loudly when people don’t thank you.

I`m so poor I went to the ducks today to beg for bread...