Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Doing it wrong is the only thing I do right.
It must be really hard to judge a wet t-shirt contest because I saw one recently and all the t-shirts looked equally wet.
My wife just gave me an ultimatum, it’s either her or Facebook. So sadly, this will be my last joke….. in which I talk about having a wife.
JOKE OF THE YEAR: Two women were sitting quietly together, minding their own business.
Should have never gave my cat a lemon, now he’s walking around like a sour puss.
Some idiots actually sold their homes and properties thinking the world was really going to end! What losers. I hope my boss gives me my job back on Monday
I`m glad I`m me, I don`t think anybody else could take it.
My only argument with using the treadmill, is that I can`t run away from my farts.
To understand paranoid people better, follow them around.
Not now, I`m busy bringing shame to my family on the internet.
Y`all are gonna lose your minds when Donald Trump eats a Snickers and turns into Bernie Sanders.
just keep scrolling nothing to see hear
Lisa has 750 friends on Facebook. A week later she adds 150 more to her friends list. What does she have? Answer-Big Boobs
I don`t understand why people pay therapists when I`ll tell them what`s wrong with them for free.
I don`t understand interventions. What`s the point of being told I drink too much by a room full of the reasons I drink in the first place?