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If I could be anyone else in the whole world, I would still be me so that I wouldn`t have to buy new clothes.
How many men does it take to open a beer? None! It should be opened by the time she brings it to the couch.
I wouldn’t have to manage my anger, if people could learn to manage their stupidity.
Cubic Zirconium`s slogan should be: Guys can fake it too!
The next time there`s an awkward silence, try whispering, "Did you forget your line?"
"This is so wrong," I say excitedly, my heart racing, my hands trembling as I butter a donut
When someone says “You just made my day,” it makes my day.
Hey Dog Walkers, technically, that dog can walk on its own. What it can`t do is pick up it`s own poop. You`re just a poop collector.
Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren`t happy.
You made several good points, and I understand that you are right, but the way you said it was so douchey I have to take an opposite stance.
I just called to get my credit score and I heard laughing in the background. Sounds like a cool place to work.
Don’t you hate it when spiders bite you and you get like zero superpowers?
morning i hate girls evening i need girls
The best part about growing old with you is that I`ll always be the younger one.
What if Justin Bieber is also Miley Cyrus? I mean have you ever seen them in one place at the same time?