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The most common name In China is Chang, correct me if you think it’s Wong.
Reasons to get out of bed: Food.
Chicken salad with egg in it is my fave way to eat two generations.
In post apocalyptic movies everyone wears leather ... but there are no cows.
Hmmmm what should I buy myself for Valentines day.
The biggest problem with two-faced people is, never knowing which face to slap first.
So far my bracket is perfect! I can`t wait to fill the rest of it in.
when a girl says "whatever" what she really means "I hope you get shot, fall off a bridge, get raped by a shark, and then eaten by it
Beer is like sex. When it’s good it’s good…when it’s bad it’s still pretty good.
the ulitmate moment is when your identical twin says your ugly
This is my first status of 2017. Yeah, I thought it would be better too.
The only way I know if I`ve bought enough beer is if my car thinks I have a passenger
My parents say I was an unplanned child, which probably explains why my life isn`t going to plan.
Quick question, ladies: If you shave your eyebrows off and then draw them back on, what the hell are you doing?
You may think I`m a loser, but to my goldfish, I`m the god of flakes.