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I saw that! - Karma
According to Facebook, some people I don`t remember are grilling this weekend.
One thing I`ve learned about women is they prefer that I don`t speak
This headache feels like dumb people
Your so vain...you probably think this post is about you
You look like you only got about 5 of your 8 hours of beauty sleep last night...
Why would anybody put 99 bottles of beer up on a wall in the first place?
Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.
Sometimes entire relationships can only be described as “that weird thing I did for a while.”
I hear you`ve been very naughty ... Go to my room!
Nice try, self-checkout lane. There`s not even any mirrors.
Apparently, playing dead only works on bears not ex boyfriends.
Masturbating in front of your partner in the hope that she’ll join does not always work. And people on the bus stare at you.
"Based on a true story" means it happened more or less like this, but with ugly people.
You know that look women get when they want sex ? ..........me neither.