Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Refusing to go to the gym counts as resistance training, right?
Why can`t I get service in my own home, but the god damn Taliban can upload videos from a cave in Afghanistan!?
My credit card company says I have an outstanding balance. I’m flattered.
I have a coffee table in my house. It`s decaffeinated but you would never know it by looking at it.
Doing some caroling! All by myself. In people`s backyards. In the bushes. Very little singing. Mostly watching. -Bfanch
Mondays aren`t so bad... it`s my job that sucks.
Pretty sure I look forward to my boss` vacation`s more than he does.
Why do we offer "a word to the wise" when it`s the stupid ones that need the advice?
Breaking news: Newt saw his shadow. Six more weeks of campaigning and attack ads.
I want to live in a world where the Food Network delivers.
I know 3 facts about you: 1.You can’t say ‘M’ without your lips touching. 2.You’re trying it now looking like an idiot. 3. Now you’re smiling
Volleyball = A more intense version of don`t let the balloon hit the floor.
Turns out a crash diet doesn`t mean having vodka with every meal and falling down the stairs at noon!
You can tell a lot about a woman by how she slices brownies. For example: if she throws the knife at you, you should pick up some Midol.
Hoping to get "till death do us part" reduced to a 15 year sentence and time served.