Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My girlfriend thinks I`m a stalker. . . . well. . . she`s not exactly my girlfriend yet.
Have some fun: goto the local bar. Play every Justin Beaber song and leave.
I’m not shy. I’m just holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.
As long as everything is exactly the way I want it. I`m totally flexible.
I’m not a biologist but I’m pretty sure the difference between a moth and a butterfly is that a moth is really ugly.
People with jobs: It`s Friday!!! People without jobs: It`s Friday?
Why do the commercials with the husband and wife doing a home improvement project never show the fistfight?
The worst thing about rich people is I`m not one of them.
I have never faked a sarcasm in my entire life!
Today`s Horoscope: You`re gullible
You ever think that maybe the reason geese are always honking is because they`re flying too close together?
Boss: "Are you texting?" Me: "No, I`m Tweeting." Boss: "What`s the difference?" Me: "Texting would imply that I have friends."
Roasted beef is like regular beef except the cows family tells embarrassing stories about it, which are tough and tasteless.
“Nothing is impossible.” I disagree. I’m doing nothing right now… it’s totally possible.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I hate you bye