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Partying on my level requires years of training.
India launched a rocket to Mars yesterday… That’s a heck of a place to put a call center.
The downside of DVR is getting freaked out by tornado warnings from four days ago
If it rains on a dream catcher, does that make it a wet dream catcher?
Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk while it´s still snowing
Its all sh!ts and giggles until someone giggles and sh!ts
Per Wikipedia, there are two kinds of scorpions. One can sting and kill you like a spider, the other can sing and rock you like a hurricane
The weekend is just a bittersweet memory.... I won`t cry because it`s over, I`ll smile because for a few miles they believed I was the real bus driver.
If u think I talk to much, just let me know. We can talk about it!
One time I threw a boomerang and lost it, now I live in constant fear.
Sign said “WET PAINT” So I emptied my water bottle on it. I’m currently waiting on further instructions.
Why is it never opportunity that`s knocking? Instead, it`s usually cops with a warrant...
Not so great minds also think alike.
I`ll be glad when it`s warm enough to pee outside!
It`s a good thing the gas station is open today...... I still have time to do my Christmas shopping.