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Have a day. That`s about as inspirational I get.
Chocolate is a flavor of milk, and milk is a flavor of chocolate.
when my swear jar gets full I`m going to use the money to buy a f*cking puppy
If a girl can kick your a$$ at video games, she’s a keeper.
I`m so unlucky with women? I visited a massage parlour the other day..and they told me it was "self - service"
18 is TOO young to get married! You can`t even buy booze at 18! If you can`t buy booze, how the hell are you gonna make a marriage work?!?
"I`d hit that!" -Helpful blackjack dealer
Well, it`s about that time of the day when I stop hitting the snooze button, wipe away the drool, open the blinds, and head on home from work.
Your giving me the silent treatment??? FKN FINALLY!!
No matter which path you choose, there will always be some asshole in front of you trying to make a left.
Every conversation should come with a snooze button. That way if you`re being too boring, I can push a button and keep you from talking for the next 10 minutes.
Two can play that game...` -people who dont understand that`s how games usually work
I went somewhere earlier and saw a frog parked illegally and the poor thing got toad!!
I don’t know how your day is going, but I just got lucky on the couch! Yep, I found a dollar!
I keep my land line so I can find my cell phone.