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I put the pro in inappropriate.
I`m allergic to gluten free diets.
I never care whether or not my glass is half full or half empty... cause I drink straight from the bottle!
If you run into someone you know and they say "we should hang out sometime", say "I`m ready to hang out now" and watch them panic.
You`re never too old to throw random sh*t in people`s shopping carts when they aren`t looking.
Sometimes I like to hold the door for people who are far away so they feel obligated to run just a little. ;)
I remember when the internet was two tin cans and a string.
If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck and looks like a duck then it could be a dragon doing a duck impersonation.
Look in the mirror and tell me that God does not have a sense of humor.
When people ask for my advice, I advise them not to take my advice. That really screws them up.
"Wish You Were Beer!" Wait...no...that`s right...send.
It`s called fall because everything is falling; leaves, temperature, bank account, gpa, motivation...
My husband picks fights with me like he doesn`t even value half of all his assets.
I wonder if I´ll ever be mature enough to use a stud finder without first pointing it at myself and saying "THERES ONE." -same guy, you`re british.
The last breasts I touched belonged to a dead chicken.