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I have this condition that prevents me from going on a diet. I get hungry.
I`m a spontaneous procrastinator
"Stay out of the heat & stay hydrated." Thank you news-anchor. It`s my first summer.
Instead of going to couples therapy, married people should just join tinder and see what a nightmare single people have to deal with.
woman belong in the kitchen? thats where the knives are you fool.
Sometimes I post crazy shit just to see if my friend`s list will drop a few #`s
I overheard 2 girls say there was a creepy dude listening to their conversation.
I have the worst case of morning sickness. No I am not pregnant, my body just rejects mornings.
A word to the wise ain`t necessary - it`s the stupid ones that need the advice!
If your single and you know it…Pet your cat!
The only thing us men clean at home is our browser history
I wish I could understand what women with big boobs are saying.
I don`t know why it`s necessary to get a glass dirty, when wine tastes perfectly fine straight out of the bottle.
Let’s just call a vacation what it is: the opportunity to live like an alcoholic for a little while.
Here`s where I draw the line: ___________________________.