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is pretty sure there´s a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking...And I plan on finding out what that is.
Easy way to kill me: Dangle a spider from my rearview mirror while I`m driving.
My new years resolution is to try to actually finish someth
If McDonald`s was smart they`d serve breakfast until 2pm on the weekends.
Ladies, if you are really good at blow jobs, you don’t have to pretend to like football.
I love how music can take you to another place. For example One Direction is playing in this cafe so now I`m going to a different cafe.
Swans mate for life...in case you were wondering what made them so mean.
10 years ago Facebook came in to our lives forever changing our ability to judge each other from our couches.
Not sure what my spirit animal is, but I am sure it has rabies
How much is appropriate to tip the police officer who opens the squad car door for you?
I haven`t seen any new episodes of Gilligan`s Island in awhile... I hope they`re OK.
You say hangover. I say out of booze.
what do you mean booze ain`t food!?
A friend suggested I see a therapist but the truth is, I like being f*cked up.
Common sense has become so rare it should be classified as a superpower.