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New Rule: If I hold the door open for you and you walk by without thanking me I am guaranteed at least one attempt at trying to trip you.
I`m sticking to my guns ... I really should have washed my hands after I ate.
Apparently when my math teacher asked `what comes after 69` "I DO" was not the correct answer.
iPhone is really a terrible name considering how rarely I use it as a phone. That`s like if my bed was named iSex.
I keep trying to avoid trouble but I think it likes me.
Don`t under estimate me... unless you`re trying to guess how old I am or how much I weigh.
Live in the moment. Unless the moment sucks. Then live on Facebook.
I`m leaving my body to science because even scientists need a good laugh now and then.
You can`t be ugly and play hard to get. It just doesn`t work that way...your already hard to want
The phrase "Don`t take this the wrong way." has a zero percent success rate.
Why is it the less money someone makes the better they are at reproducing?
I hate when I`m admiring my good looks from a car`s window reflection and the people inside think I`m staring at them.
I`ve done it in the bathroom, I`ve done it in the bedroom, I`ve done it in the kitchen, on the couch, outside, in the bus, yoo I just can`t seem to stop this texting.:)
DAAAAY-OH! DAAaay-oh! Monday come and me wanna go home.
Chuck E Cheese: Because it`s never too early to introduce your children to gambling and bad nutrition.