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If the human race has a "signature move," its gotta be lying to the dentist about flossing.
An awkward morning beats a boring night.
Just once, I would like to see a person on a daytime talk show say, "dad was a good parent...mom was a good parent...the problem is me, I`m just a sh!thead."
i just accidentally used AOL online, im betting the workers there are celebrating and think they have a chance in the future. lol
You make me have filthy thoughts, and for that I thank you...
You’re probably naked under all those clothes. You slut.
I’m a proud supporter of messy hair and sweatpants.
RUN? I thought you said Rum. I quit.
Wow, I thought “flash mob” meant something completely different. Can someone come bail me out?
Velcro, what a rip-off!
My "To Do" list today only had one entry: "Nothing". And it took me all day to finish it!
With my background and genetics, you guys should be happy I am half as normal as I am.
Love is... saving money to buy her shoes!
I went to see the doctor today for my annual check-up. The good news is the he says I`m healthy as a horse. The bad news is he uses large farm animals to
If 3 people have sex, it`s called a 3-some. If 2 people have sex, it`s called a 2-some. I guess we now know why they call you HAND-some.