Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
facebook cuz am too old to have imaginery friends
If you’re not fully satisfied with your life, do something about it. Or complain about it on the internet. Whatever you prefer.
Never throw sunglasses in an argument. If they land perfectly on your opponent`s face there is no known comeback.
What do you mean this posting of the BBQ ribs you made is not an invite?
Hire a hitman is apparently not the correct answer to "what would you do if you won the lottery"
I hate waiting in lines. I wish this woman would hurry up and pick a suspect.
I`ve always pictured myself taking selfies.
Is running in front of cars some sort of gang initiation for squirrels?
I love a woman in uniform. I mean naked.
Do you think the dude that invented the breathalyzer has any friends left?
popsicle sticks: $1. caramel: $3. onion: $1. watching ur kid bite into a caramel onion thinking its an apple: priceless.
Wish there were more love songs about naps and liqour.
Firemen must dread the moment when they`re done for the day and have to find the strength to climb back up the pole.
The odds of winning the lottery are 1 in 10 million. The odds of being the fastest sperm are 1 in 300 million. You`d think that with those odds, you`d win the lottery 30 times in your life.
I took the "Which 90`s Cartoon Are You?" quiz and got "You`re a fucking grown man. Stop it. Right now."