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If running away from my problems counts as exercise then yes, I work out a lot.
I swear my cat was an alarm clock in a previous life...
Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?
My boss calls it a cubicle. I call it a happiness deprivation chamber.
This job fair sucks... They don`t have one F*cking ride...
I only like clicky pens when I am the clicker.
Nothing like a brisk morning jog to start the day! Just kidding! I don`t do that.
For lent, I`m giving up sexual innuendos but it`s hard... so hard!
My New Years Resolution is to be more positive and less sarcastic...I wonder how long this bull$hit fantasy will last.
When i see a person hailing a cab, i run quickly by them and slap them a high five just to boost their enthusiasm!
"Lets hang out sometime" -liars.
When you`re a kid, you hate those moments when there is absolutely nothing to do. As an adult, you live for them.
Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what`s your plan? ;)
Played hide and seek today. I was winning until the cops let the K9 off of the leash.
People don`t call each other jive ass turkey enough nowadays.