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That`s like asking the fat guy to watch the pie.
I`m so unlucky with women? I visited a massage parlour the other day..and they told me it was "self - service"
I miss newspapers. It`s weird hitting a dog on the nose with an iPad
Looking back.. I think I preferred you when I didn`t know you...
When I bust a move , it stays busted.
I live for two reasons. 1) I was born. 2) I haven`t died yet.
It was all so different before everything changed.
I don`t care how old I am, if I go out to eat and there are crayons and paper place mats with puzzles...GAME ON!!
Apparently I snore so loudly that it scares everyone in the car I`m driving.
Cats have tails so you can swing them around. Duh.
I`d hit that. - women drivers
hilarious
Sometimes the problem with reality is the lack of background music.
Emails from your boss assigning you work do not qualify as cyber bullying. I checked.
LIFE HACK: Answer your phone "Hello you`re on the air" and 99% of the time people will just hang up