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The most common name In China is Chang, correct me if you think it’s Wong.
Reasons to get out of bed: Food.
If it hurts when you pee, urine trouble.
I`ve come to terms with the fact that I will never experience leftover pizza.
I hate that I have to put on clothes to participate in society.
I just want you all to know, whatever problems you might be having, I`m here to `like` them.
If money can`t buy happiness what do you pay a hitman with?
If "The Breakfast Club" was made today, it would be a silent film about five kids staring at their phone
Facebook is not so bad once you block your family and friends.
I`m alone in my car ... Counting it as a vacation.
Bacon has protein. Spinach has protein. Bacon is a vegetable.
What am I doing with the rest of my life? I don`t even know what I`m doing with the rest of this post...
new years resolution #1: stop losing the powerball
It`s nice that my vacuum has a headlight just in case I want to clean in the dark or wake my dog up thinking he`s getting hit by a train.
Sometimes saying "F*ck it" is the best decision.