Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The worst part about being stoned at work is realizing it`s your day off.
They told me to come here and write something funny, so I`m gonna post my bank account balance: -$4.09
It must be really hard to judge a wet t-shirt contest because I saw one recently and all the t-shirts looked equally wet.
I don`t eat a high fiber diet to be healthier, I eat so I`ll have to $hit more at work.
Some of you are so dumb, I don`t even know how you found the internet.
Just saw the book "Marriage for Dummies." ... Shouldn`t there be an "is" in there somewhere?
I was born to make mistakes, not to fake perfection.
Woke up with my credit card lying on my keyboard. I can`t wait to see what drunk me bought sober me.
Why is it called cliffhanger and not
Mission Impossible: Ordering something at Subway without saying, "ummmm".
It`s 2014 and somehow we still don`t have a car mirror that can make objects appear exactly as far away as they are.
Sometimes I STOP when it`s not even Hammer time
"What`s wrong?" "Oh it`s personal" Then, why`d you post it to Facebook.
It`s as if none of these people have ever seen a beer hat at the gym before.
I used to think paramedics were ghost doctors.