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scream outloud and really fast "I won a math debate"
10 REASONS WHY I`M LAZY... you know what? Never mind. I can do this later.
When the zombie apocalypse hits, I know EXACTLY who I`m tripping first...
Ladies, not every guy who talks to you wants to bang you. Some of us know that you have booze and snacks in your purse.
Commercials led me to believe that changing shampoos would have a much bigger effect on my life.
I wish I had Shazam for faces...
When I`m really bored at work I like to write "I`m watching you" on the toilet paper a few squares in just to mess with people.
If "The Breakfast Club" were made today, it would be a silent film about 5 kids staring at their phones.
In a parallel universe calories are trying to burn people.
My kitchen is actually nothing more than a fruit hospice
I am who I am, your approval is not needed.
Telling me to calm down is the easiest way to get me to tell you to go f*ck yourself.
What are the words I`m looking for? Oh yeah...Eat sh!t and die.
With the right music, you either forget everything or you remember everything.
My goal today is to turn actions into thoughts.