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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I wish you could order Karma like flowers and have it delivered.
I am creating the first ever "flavored windows". They should make some of you very happy.
Basketball would be a lot more exciting if each team was allowed one bear.
Who ever said technology will replace paper.....has obviously never tried wiping their a$$ with an IPAD.
If "The Breakfast Club" were made today, it would be a silent film about 5 kids staring at their phones.
My life is a constant cycle of waiting until the weekend and then not doing anything when it comes.
Hey dumb a$$. Not everything I post pertains to you. Just the stuff that starts with Hey dumb a$$.
I`m not always rude. Sometimes I`m sleeping.
Making fun of someone you`re angry with is childish. Be an adult and hit them with your car, instead
Ever noticed how fast people walk across the road when you don`t apply the brakes
Everything I like is expensive, illegal, or won’t text me back.
To all those that now have a DUI, domestic violence charge or one less finger... Happy 5th of July
Nothing says "under the thumb" like a joint Facebook account
Being a Zombie doesn`t sound that bad. You don`t have a job and your entire day is spent looking for things to eat. Shit, I do that now.
There is no such thing as something looking "Too good to eat"