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Smile at the people who hate you. It makes them wonder what you`re up to. :)
Delete cookies? Why on Earth would I want to do that?! I LOVE COOKIES
Taking a nap is so risky. Like, when will I wake up? 30 minutes from now? 2 hours? 12 years? No one can be sure.
Love is like hearing your favorite song for the first time. Then listening to it over and over again till you hate that song.
I can`t even tell what this thing in my fridge use to be.
Gimmie a P. Gimmie an R. Gimmie an O. Gimmie a C. Gimmie an R. Gimmie an A. Gimmie an S. Gimmie a....oh, nevermind. I`ll finish this later.
New word of the day: Stupidiot!!
When I die, I am going to haunt the f*ck out of you people.
I`m at my most badass when I`m popping a wheelie with a shopping cart.
Dear math, please stop asking us to find your x. She`s not coming back. And we don`t no y either.
When I was a kid, my parents told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Turns out, this is called "Identity Theft".
Screw doing situps...teddy bears don`t and everyone loves them.
I would tell you to go to he!! but all dogs go to heaven.
Nothing`s more embarrassing than that pantsless walk to get more toilet paper. I felt like everyone in CVS was staring at me.
It`s not you, it`s me. I can`t stand you.