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wondering if today is a good day to implement my plan...
Finally got my Bon Jovi Sat Nav working... Wooahh we`re half way there.
When I buy a horse, I`ll call it `MY FACE`..imagine all the ladies screaming `come on my face`
It`s cute how my wife thinks I can read her mind when I can`t even dress the kids properly.
Dear grumpy people: donuts are only $.99
If one goes to online college, do they have to haze them self?
No heel is too high when pointed up at the ceiling.
How crazy is it that we used to say "three and a half inch floppy" with a straight face
My first instinct when I see an animal is to say “hello”. My first instinct when I see a person is to avoid eye contact & hope it goes away.
My motto is "Never say never." Which makes it difficult to tell people my motto...
There`s nothing like hearing the laughter of a baby. Unless it`s 1AM and you`re home alone.
I think my new Stress Management plan is going to be alcoholism.
Couldn`t stay awake sitting on the couch, so I laid down in bed to make sure I wouldn`t fall asleep
No matter how fast you run, the serial killer always walks faster.
You know you`re a mom when someone says they have a stomach ache and you ask if they pooped today.