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The adult version of Operation is trying not to break a tortilla chip while dipping it into a jar of salsa.
Good news: I can still do a full split! Bad news: It wasn`t on purpose!
Wtf? I was always told to treat people the way I want to be treated.. Stupid sexual harassment charges pending.
Just joined the support group Hokey Pokey Anonymous ... A place to turn yourself around. ;)
I followed my heart...now I`m at the liqour store
Remember, condoms prevent minivans.
Still no news on the royal baby. One will assume its being delivered by Royal Mail
Have you ever looked at someone and thought, "Yep, you have a person in your basement."?
Shout out to sidewalks. Thanks for keeping me off the streets.
Don´t be stupid, it´s not smart.
Immature is just a word boring people use to describe fun people.
When a girl says "no," a guy hears it as "try again tomorrow."
For just 3 cents a day, all of my followers can help me quit my job...
I eat my Chinese food just like any other American, with chopsticks, one grain of rice at a time.
Going to Target. See you in about two hundred bucks...