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The 5 second rule for food dropped on the ground does not work if you have a 2 second dog.
No children were harmed in making this status. Ignored perhaps, but certainly not harmed…
Not to cause a panic but i`m starting to think we`re running out of things to stuff inside pizza crust.
Surly not EVERYBODY was Kung-Foo fighting?
Coworker: What did you do this weekend? Me: Dug holes in the woods. And that is how you get people to shut up.
I pretend to like people everyday. It`s called being an adult. That`s why we`re allowed to buy booze.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought, "Yep, you have a person in your basement."?
My favorite drinking game is drinking.
For the record "Wanna do it?" is not foreplay....
Sobriety is an illusion created by alcohol deficiency.
Five second rule? Pfft. What`s the point of having an immune system if you`re not going to use it?
*pulls shirt back down* I guess I don`t understand what a flash mob actually is.
I used to think paramedics were ghost doctors.
Arm wrestling is DEFINITELY the manliest sport where Two dudes hold hands...
It’s not pretty being easy.