Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Hair pulling during sex is hot ... unless the whole wig comes off.
Could you please put your screaming baby on vibrate.
The problem with the rest of the world is that they are always 5 drinks behind.
"That`s crazy" is the perfect response when you haven`t been listening.
If it hurts when you pee, urine trouble.
A gentle reminder about Daylight Savings Time: If you thought last Monday sucked, this one will prove to be much, much worse.
CAN I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE: Oh... I have nothing to say, I just crave the spotlight.
In my experience, most arguments are caused by a misunderstanding of the fact that I`m right.
Whoever said technology will replace paper has obviously never tried to wipe their butt with an I-pad
The worst part of being an insomniac is having to eat spiders while I’m awake to maintain my yearly average.
I never thought I’d be the kind of person who’d wake up early in the morning to exercise... and I was right.
Wear black: all the non-conformists are doing it.
I`m sorry, I`ll be busy this weekend walking around my house with mini alcohol bottles and fun size candy bars pretending I`m a giant.
*spits out animal cracker* This doesn`t even taste like hippo.
"User Friendly" is just another way of saying stupid.......