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Workout Journal Day #5: Jogging with a stroller is great exercise! And hard work for whoever is pushing me.
I need a keyboard shortcut for "sorry it`s taken me so long to reply to your text..."
I have this great midnight snack it`s called, what do I think my roommate won`t notice if I eat the edges off of
I have a feeling my dying words will be "Honey, I was just joking."
Friend: Hey that`s a great truck. what kinda engine? Me: [rubbing the hood] it`s got a truck engine
Internet dating: the odds are good but the goods are odd.
A "long story" is just a short story that no one wants to tell.
No one ever said life was easy, but several people did say that you were.
You can run from your problems. Unless your problem is a cheetah.
Putting a light in the refrigerator is God`s way of telling us that it`s okay to eat before going to bed.
It`s not hotter this year. It`s just that you are fatter and there is more surface area for the sun to hit.
I just spent ten minutes waving back to a guy in a storefront window before I realized he was just cleaning the glass.
Don`t text me while I`m texting you. Now I have to go back and change my text.
Note to self: you never read these notes so stop writing them.
Just called my own voicemail and left messages until the memory was full. People can`t leave messages now. That`s the kind of genius I am.