Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Your outfit says you work in an office, but your shoes say it might have a pole in it
Remember the bridge you drive over today was built by the lowest bidder.
You make me want to be a better class of psycho.
I don`t always have awkward moments, but when I do I make sure I write them on Facebook so my friends know how awkward they were.
The only way I know if I’ve bought enough beer is if my car thinks I have a passenger.
I`m not a gamer, but I can be as lazy as one.
shoutout to people who have money but still order off the dollar menu
If women are so perfect at multitasking, how come they can`t have a headache and sex at the same time?
Pringles should make their containers like a Push Up Pop.
The bouncer from my local nightclub calls me Macaulay Culkin because I always go home alone.
I just called to get my credit score and I heard laughing in the background. Sounds like a cool place to work.
Are you reading this from a toilet? I`m writing this from one.
I`m a little ticked off, I checked a book about surgery out of the library and when I opened it up I found that someone had taken the appendix out
I`m going to the gym now. Not bragging. Just want you to know where to send the ambulance.
"Stop, Drop, and Roll" is not JUST an effective fire safety technique, but also a very memorable way of getting out of a boring conversation. :P